Feeling $blue

The other day I was talking about coding in a chat room. After a while of pleasant conversation I was surprised by the demeanor of some of my fellow programming enthusiasts. I posted a single line of code including the variable $blue.

We weren’t talking about how to name variables, but somehow me naming a variable $blue was interesting and several folks questioned my motives. Well, it wasn’t so much questioning me as it was telling me – I was wrong and that was that. Silly me for actually trying to explain my motives. They were discarded out of hand.

I asked for advice on how I should name my variable, but got only nonsense. What else could I expect? No questions were asked, no context was there. They had no knowledge of the situation, so they couldn’t have purposefully provided a right answer. And that is fine, but the funny thing is that this didn’t stop them from trying.

After this I didn’t bother anymore and fortunately there was no follow-up. I’ve been feeling a bit bad about not telling them I didn’t appreciate their unsolicited (and wrong!) advice, but I don’t think it would’ve made a difference anyway. Their minds about something as silly as a variable name were made-up; what hope could I have of changing their approach to questioning me?

Useful discussion?

We shared opinions as if we were televisions. There was text going back and forth, but no one was really replying to the other. It was as if everyone was tuned into a different channel, airing a different program about how to name variables.

So what did we learn? I know what I learned: I shouldn’t do that again. It was a waste of my time and I felt bad about how it went down. Even now, while writing about my experience, I still feel a bit unpleasant.

I was open for suggestions on how to better name my variables, but now I’m not even open to discussing anything with these particular people. That’s a real shame because they are smart people. It leaves me to wonder what they were hoping to achieve. Did they want me to name my variables better in the future? That can’t be; they only berated me and didn’t understand me. I don’t know what they wanted, all I know is that nothing has changed for me, except my opinion of them.

Useful discussion!

So what would I do differently? It’s one thing to say someone else is wrong (didn’t I just critique saying that? Breaking my own rules!!1~) but providing an alternative is another. So here is what I would do if someone posted a snippet of code to me including a naming scheme that I disagree with at the surface.

Why did you choose that name, if I may ask?

Asking an honest, friendly and open question is a perfect intro into a pleasant conversation. Possibly even a useful and mutually beneficial discussion. It allows the other person to inform you of context, which in turn can aid you in asking the next question, if it applies:

I think you have made the wrong choice; can I present you with an alternative?

It’s very important to understand a problem before you provide a solution. I know it’s hard to curb your enthusiasm, believe me I have my share of problems with it, but it’s not fair to the other person to barge in with wrong info. It’s equally important to check if the other person even want’s to have feedback – if they don’t then you’re just tooting your own horn. Cool, you know things better. Now what? You’ve basically shown that you don’t care about the other person, but want them to change anyway. That doesn’t make sense.

Applying this view to a business environment gives a very interesting perspective as well, because it matters how you’re perceived when you’re talking to a client. Are you perceived as knowledgeable, helpful, considerate and passionate, or are you perceived as stubborn, indulgent, overbearing and angry? I strongly believe the questions I suggested earlier help me in presenting myself better. I believe that my approach provides more value and is more professional and I believe that I have been very successful in my interactions with managers, co-workers and clients.

Conclusion

If you find yourself engaging with people who are just pumping advice and aren’t asking you questions, ask yourself what you are getting out of the time you spend there. Is it valuable? Do you learn things? Are you enjoying yourself? If not, why do you do it?

And if this article resonates with you, ask yourself why you do it. What are you getting out of it? I think this behavior is hurtful for others, but especially for yourself. I know only too well – I’ve spent many hours arguing on the internet.